{destination home}

Part 2 of my little stay in the hospital.  There wasn't much of anything exciting, but it is part of my journey so I am sharing.

Wednesday, February 3.  In come the nurses for one of the many visits in the middle of the night.  I woke from what felt like hours of sleep thinking "How nice this night is coming to an end."  When I asked the nurse what time it was I was very disappointed to find out it was only 12:30 a.m.  Ugh!  I felt like I had been run over by a truck, my tailbone and sacrum hurt from sitting upright and I still felt sick to my stomach though not near as bad as before.  I was given more drugs for the pain and all my vitals were taken.  I am assuming "vitals" include blood pressure, temperature, oxygen levels (I think that was what the thing on my finger measured) and my pulse.  Once all that was done I was left to sink back into my sleepy, drugged stupor.  But, when you spend the night in the hospital that sleep doesn't last long because it seems that just as you fall back to sleep here comes the nurse again.  I don't want to complain too much because it seems like they came with more pain meds quite often, but I was so tired.  When they rolled in at 3:00 a.m.  they had me eat my little cup of warm green jello and some crackers so I could take some painkillers.  I had no idea if that would all stay down, but it did and it felt good to have a little something in my stomach.  I guess I had enough sleep because I couldn't fall back asleep and laid there fairly wide awake until about 4:30 when I finally drifted off.  Ahhh, sweet sleep UNTIL 6:00 when the nurse came in to get me up to walk!  Are you serious?  It is still dark out!  So I sat up and sat on the edge of my bed for what seemed like forever because I was so dizzy and light headed.  I was finally able to stand up and we took a nice slow walk down the hall and back with a brief stop at the nurse's station to order breakfast.  Very light as I was afraid of how my stomach would feel with food in it.  Scrambled eggs and fruit.  Happy to say it didn't make me sick, but I still didn't feel ready for a huge, complicated meal.  Simple is safe.

Shortly after I returned to my room and was left "comfortable" in a chair for a change of scenery my doctor arrived to check on me.    They unsnapped my gown and proceeded to unzip my tight sportsbra type bra to check out her handy work.  She was pleased with how they looked and my incision sites looked great.  Not a single dressing required.  It was crazy.  I was surprised at how few incisions I had for my major surgery.  I had two drains (which totally grossed me out) each with one itty, bitty incision, a 1 1/2 inch incision where they removed four lymph nodes and then my incisions on the front of each breast that were now two small cinched up spots where I once had nipples.  I know, sorry for the "too much info", but really there is no modesty left after this whole process.  It's breast cancer, breast stuff is going to come up.  In fact, I have decided at some point I am going to describe in kind of tasteful detail how breast reconstruction isn't like getting a boob job.  So, you have been warned.  It's coming.  I have been very open and very frank about this whole process.  I don't expect I will stop now. 

Sorry, I digress...when my doctor was done checking me out they had to pull my tight sports bra back on and zip it up the front.  Oh, my goodness!  That hurt so damn bad.  I just about came out of my skin.  Imagine traumatized, terribly inflamed, swollen, pain like you have never imagined Dolly Parton boobs shoved into a bra three sizes too small.  I repeat, pain like you have never imagined.  When they left I decided I needed to get back in bed.  Not an easy feat.  Every movement jarred my chest and I couldn't use my arms to pull myself back into bed.  I had to sit back as far as I could to the elevated end of the bed and do a crazy, little, slow butt shimmy that seemed to take forever and hurt with every shimmy.  But, I made it into bed and was so happy to be able to lay back in bed after my painful experience of getting my boobs tucked back away and trying to get back in bed.  I was totally exhausted and just laid back to rest.  It was as close to peaceful and comfortable as one could get after a major surgery.

The one thing that I couldn't believe hearing all morning was "When you go home today...."  What?!  I feel horrible, how can I possibly go home today?  I just had a bunch of tissue cut out, my pec muscles separated from the chest wall and 350 cc implants shoved under them.  I felt like I had been hit by a truck and then backed over and hit again.  How on God's green earth was I going to go home today?  I tried not to think about it and prayed they would see that I was a mess and couldn't possibly go home.  When my aunt came into see me she told me that I would be surprised at how much better I felt by late afternoon.  Okay, I'm open to just sitting and waiting.  If I didn't feel comfortable going home I was going to push to stay.  I had a few more visitors during the day the best being my kiddos.  I was in a much more pleasant state for company and they were excited to see me.  I looked at all the great cards their classes made for me and was able to lean forward just enough to give them kisses.  One of A's classmates wrote, "I'm sorry this happened to you.  You are probably a good person."  Hahahahaha!  It was awesome.  Kids say the greatest things.

So late afternoon rolls around and here comes the nurse with my discharge papers ready to kick me to the curb.  When it is time to go, it is time to go!  And you know what?  I felt ready to go home.  I honestly didn't think I would.  A friend encouraged me to get out of the hospital ASAP to get away from the disease and infection that is in a hospital and that made sense.  The bed was so uncomfortable, I missed being with my family all the time and I didn't want to spend another night being woke up every couple of hours.  So around 4:00 in the afternoon I left the hospital and I was happy to.   Less than 24 hours in my hospital room.  Just crazy.  The girls were waiting at home for us and were so excited to see me.  T spent the day with one of our friends and would be home later.  I got the best greeting from him when he got home. 

It was a good day.  It was good to be home.

{soul under construction}

What are you going to do for your soul in 2011?  Here we are already closing in on the end of January already.  Did you make New Year's Resolutions?  I don't like to make New Year's resolutions.  Strike that, I did publicly resolve to quit giving up lattes.  So far so good! :)  For the most part I think if you are going to make changes or set goals for yourself you shouldn't wait until January 1st to do it.  Today is a good day to do that.   So I didn't make any resolutions for the year.  Instead I'm making a list of things I'm going to do for my soul.

• Take care of the never-ending mass of pictures that are stacking up in my computer.  Print them and put them in albums.  Put pictures in frames that have been sitting in my closet unused.  Put together the big collage of family pics that I have been wanting to do along my stairs.


• Take care of things at home.  Sew with Abigail more.  Teach Kenna to sew on her new sewing machine.  Bake with Kenna.  Sort through the clutter piles that weigh on me that have stacked up over the past couple busy years. Try more new Paleo recipes.  Cook more.  Read more to the kids. Play more games. Etc.


• Be creative.  Take fewer orders and sew more for myself.  Try new things.  Use patterns, pattern books and fabric that I have been itching to use, but haven't had the time.  Start a "green" line of bags.  Sew gifts for friends.  Sew items to donate. Do more feel good sewing. Make one Christmas gift per month. Start a sewing bee day with like-minded sewing friends.


• Be patient with myself with my recovery and my slow climb back in the gym.  Beat my "Fran" time somewhere on the other side. New deadlift PR.  Figure out that 2nd pull on the clean and snatch.  Find a jump rope that will make me a double under ninja and get a PR on "Annie".


• Take a trip to Denver to visit one of my best friends.  Take a weekend trip or two to my "beach" within driving distance, Wallace, ID.  I know!  Wallace?? I got so many, "You're going where?" comments when I went for a weekend. I love that little town and I was very pleased to see that it made Budget Travel magazine's "2009 Coolest Small Towns". :) I'm not the only one!  I should blog my Wallace weekend sometime...hmmmm......


• Get a another tattoo. :D


• Take up hot yoga again.


• More dates with my husband.  In home dates, walking dates, shopping dates, coffee dates, hiking dates, overnight dates, driving dates, quiet dates, funny dates, just dates...

So there you have it.  I've put my soul under construction and here are the things I'm going to do for my new and improved soul.  All feel good things and "feel good" is good for the soul.  What are you going to do for your soul?  Make your own list and put it someplace where you will always see it and be reminded of the work you want to do on your soul.  Do something "feel good" for your soul!!

{MRI...check!}

Today was MRI day.  The last test to be done.  Last week we found out my genetic testing results came back negative which was a very good thing.  It's about time something came back negative!  I've never had an MRI so didn't know what to expect.  I'd heard how some people find it claustrophobic and it is very loud.  I was asked if I was claustrophobic, but I had no idea.  I've never been in a situation that would let me know if I was or wasn't.  I've never looked at a small space and thought I should crawl in there and see if it freaks me out.  After seeing the MRI machine I figured I could handle it.  It is open on both ends and it is light in there.  I really didn't want to take any Valium to get through it as I hate taking anything and I knew I wanted to workout later in the day and didn't want anything in my system.  So I decided to tough it out, close my eyes and remain calm. 

My order was for a breast MRI (duh).  Still "just" a chest MRI was a whopping $3200.  Holy crap!  It started with me laying face up.  This part only lasts 7-8 minutes, but this was the part that I noticed my breathing start to get a little anxious.  It was when I opened my eyes and the top of the tube was RIGHT there.  So I closed my eyes, relaxed my breathing and went to a happy place.  It worked and before I knew it the short 7ish minutes were over.  The second part of the MRI involved an IV that I wasn't really pleased about, but the nurse was very competent and speedy and it was over before I knew it.  The IV was so they could push "contrast" into my system.  This did something that causes the tissue to "light up" on the MRI.  I was told some women have reported feeling a cold rush, nothing at all or nausea.  Hmmmm, sounds fun.  Let's hope for the best.  If I felt nauseous and had to let them know I had to puke and stop the test I would have to reschedule and come another day.  Right now I'm hoping my breakfast stays down as I 1) didn't want to puke on the floor of the MRI room and 2) I didn't want to reschedule. After the IV was in place it was time to lie face down on the breast MRI "table".  They placed a massage table type thing on the bed with a place for my face to sit in and for my lovely boobs there were two holes for them to dangle through.  It was fantastic!  They pump oxygen in under your face so you have fresh air (which I was thankful for), put my headphones back in so I could listen to "Stuck on You" by Lionel Richie and "relax" for the final part of the MRI that would last about 30 minutes.   I was told an MRI was loud and that is no joke.  There were loud beeps, grunts, etc.  It made no sense to me why it had to be so loud, but after only getting four hours of sleep the noise didn't keep me from dozing off and on throughout the procedure and before I knew it I was done and sent on my merry way.

So now the waiting game starts AGAIN.  The three radiologists that could read my MRI will all be out-of-town until Monday.  Ugh!  But, I don't think getting the results any earlier than next week would move my surgery along any.  After the results come in we will have all the info needed to make a final treatment plan.  The MRI will show if the cancer has become invasive at all.  We are hoping that isn't the case and we can move forward easily with our decided on plan of action.  I'm not sure how long it takes to orchestrate a crew of my surgeon, the oncologist and the plastic surgeon, but I've heard once a treatment plan is chosen things move pretty quickly.  That is fine with me.  I am ready for surgery to be done so I can start on my recovery.  I want my surgery to be scheduled ASAP, but it can't be before next weekend.  My daughter is turning eight and her birthday party with her friends is next weekend and her party takes priority over my surgery.  A few days isn't going to hurt.  She was very concerned that I was going to be in the hospital over her birthday.  There isn't much I can control in this process, but planning so my baby gets to enjoy her big day with her friends is something I can.  So wait I will until her big day is celebrated properly.

So that was MRI day.  Glad it is over and I'm one step closer to being cancer-free!

{look, cupcakes}

Because I don't want my blog to end on a down note today I am going to quickly post the fantastic suprise I received in the mail today.  My sister-in-law is a cake decorating ninja!  She makes the most amazing, awesome, holy crap cakes you've ever seen.  Gumball machines, RVs, catepillars, Cinderella's carriage, turkeys, "Twilight" inspired cakes, etc.  "Not Your Everyday Cake" is what she calls her cake decorating business and that pretty much hits the nail on the head!   And lucky for us, her talents spill over into cupcake splendor.  Read on and behold the masterpiece, well masterpieces, she sent me.  She said it just made sense to "take a bite out of Breast Cancer." :)

So, if you are reading my blog you know that I was ready to kick my body to the curb this morning.  I still kind of want to, but I feel much better after some tears, laughs with the kids, incredible messages of encouragement and love, and then straight from the hands of my mailman came the "icing on the cake", so to speak.  Boob cupcakes complete with a little pink ribbon!!!!

I had planned to take the kids to Coldstone tonight to help drown my sorrows in a dish of Mojo Mudpie.  Instead, we went to the grocery store, we each picked out a single serving tub of ice cream in our flavor of choice (chocolate, cookies and cream, double fudge brownie and mocha almond fudge), came home and enjoyed a boob cupcake with some ice cream.  It seemed a little wrong to give my kids a boob cupcake, but it was just too damn funny! 

Thank you so much to my sister-in-law for thinking of me and taking the time to make my day better.  Little did she know this wonderful, hilarious surprise would arrive on a day that I needed it most.  You have to find humor in everything to get you through. Laughter IS the best medicine.   Thank you for the laugh when I needed the biggest dose!

{an "ah ha" moment}

I want to write about this right away while conversations are fresh in my head so I am sitting down to frantically type to get it all out. Today I had a 90 minute massage with a massage therapist/friend from Crossfit.  I've been going to him since about August for a nagging injury from way back in May.  When he got started with the days torture he said, "Well, Trina, I heard about your news.  How are you doing?"  So, during my massage I told him about what was going on, where we are headed, etc.  It was great conversation as he asked great questions, great thought provoking questions. Questions like, "What is the biggest burden for you with all of this?" and "Have you had any great fears?"  We had talked a little bit about a mutual friend that went to our church so church was briefly mentioned and after a bit of a silence and some brutal deep tissue massage he asked, "What are your feelings about God in this?"  Oh boy, where to begin and how do I put my feelings about this into words. 

First, I want to say that I RARELY have conversations regarding church, religion, God, etc.  I don't feel like I can ever put into the right words my feelings about it.  I don't feel educated enough to have a good conversation about it to support my views.  And all too often when it comes to religion people are narrow minded, judgemental and don't respect your opinion if it doesn't match theirs.  It can become heated and confrontational and conversations like this stress me out.  I also don't like people preaching to me.  I found today that people can talk to you at length about God and not be preachy.  It hasn't been very often that I have encountered this.  

Secondly,  how about a little background on my feelings about church, religion, the bible, etc. Now remember, these are my feelings and opinions and I have a right to mine.  If you disagree it doesn't mean I am wrong and you are right, it doesn't mean that I am right or you are wrong.  It means that I have a different opinion than you and my opinion should be respected as I would respect yours.  That being said . . . about a year and half ago Tony and I made the decision to not attend church for awhile.  It didn't feel good, we weren't getting anything out of it and it felt like all we ever did was go through the motions, like were going to church because that is what we were supposed to do.  I didn't like the feeling that to be a Christian you had to go to church every Sunday.  I've also never been too sure about the Bible.  I've always been uncomfortable with people taking the Bible literally.  I have a hard time believing that something written so long ago can be applied literally to today.  Have you ever read this article from a 1950's home ec text preparing women to be a good wife?  These words from even 50 years ago don't pertain to today.  I think over the course of my life I have questioned religion more than not.  I have always found having faith in something I can't see or touch a hard concept.  BUT, I have always been envious of my friends and family that have a deep faith in God and find comfort in it.  I always wished that I had that kind of faith.  A Faith in a loving, higher power.  Faith in the word of God.  Faith in their understanding of their faith.  I don't want anybody to think I don't believe, I do, but at the same time it doesn't make sense to me.  Part of me questions it and probably has many questions, but I don't know how to address them and still find discomfort in this faith.  Why?  I can't say for sure.  Maybe it is just not having the understanding.

So, this is pretty much how I answered my friend's questions.  A laundry list of my uncertainties, but still a desire to someday find and understand this faith that many of my friends have.  We ended up having a long conversation about this or rather he talked and explained many things to me that made some things make sense to me or how I wished to understand.  Maybe it was a comfortable understanding for me.  I didn't feel preached to or judged like I have many times.  One thing that he said that is sticking with me is that religion isn't what being a Christian is about, it is your relationship with Jesus and it has nothing to do with going to church every Sunday.  This isn't required to have a relationship with Jesus.  I liked this. 

So that was a lot of our conversation.  I usually don't enjoy conversations regarding God, the Bible, religion, etc., but I enjoyed this conversation today and I told him this.  I told him how I have never been one to like people throwing scripture and various Bible verses at me, but I have thoroughly enjoyed the many Bible verses shared with me by my friends after learning of my diagnosis.  I have been saving them to a word document and I have been rereading them and I've been amazed how various ones speak to certain events in the past two weeks.  I have been feeling and greatly appreciating the pouring out of prayer and love for me and my family.  I have been in awe of the faithfulness of those around me and I love it.  I have been admiring it and finding such comfort in it.  Even if it isn't my faith or me finding that faith I can feel it and I can maybe understand it a little bit.  In my conversation with my friend I told him that I feel like my mind and heart have maybe opened to some understanding and an "ah ha" moment. 

I've thought about this a lot in the past couple weeks, probably like many people who are diagnosed with something like this, "why me?"  I am a firm believer in "everything happens for a reason".  I kind of think part of the reason I got breast cancer is to maybe start to understand this and to maybe to understand what it means to have faith in a higher power.  I'm not going to start raising my arms to heaven and preaching and screaming the praises of the Lord, but I think maybe I am seeing a little bit what this faith is like.

When we got the diagnosis somebody said, "I don't know why, but God didn't answer our prayers".  As soon as I read this I thought, "I don't think this is true", but I wasn't sure exactly how to explain this thought.  But, now I've thought about this a lot and shared it with people.  I think God did answer our prayers, but it wasn't in a way we were expecting.  A friend told me of a Bible verse, and forgive me I don't remember exactly how it went, but it told of how God sees our "big picture" where we only see our "now".  So we may have been praying for an answer for our "now", but God has seen my big picture and started preparing me for this a long time ago.  One, nearly twenty years ago I met a guy sitting in his dorm room, playing video games the day before freshman orientation at Jamestown College in Jamestown, North Dakota.   This guy is my now wonderful husband of 17 1/2 years.  My number one supporter and strength.  Nobody loves me like he does or will carry my burdens when I feel like I can't. Seriously, no loving God would send you to North Dakota if there wasn't a good reason. ; )  Two, I have thought about my move here ten years ago.  We have amazing friends in Nevada, but not near as many and not in so many amazing circles as we do here.  The friends I have made here are some of the most amazing people I know and the outpouring of love, support and prayer from them has been staggering.  I KNEW how amazing each of these people were, but I have been truly humbled by their love. God knew I was going to need ALL of these people surrounding me and my family.  Three, I mentioned this in an earlier post, but something led me to  CrossFit Flathead nearly two years ago.  Working out and nutrition have been a big part of my life for over 19 years, but nothing has compared to what I have learned and how strong my body has become in the past two years.  I feel I found CrossFit to prepare my body and mind for fighting my fight with breast cancer and getting to the "all is fine" point on the other side of the upcoming bumps.  Also, to bring me into a caring, loving and supportive community of people that lift me up daily.  Finally, I will be the first to admit I am (or was) horrible about doing my self breast exams like every woman should do every month (Do you hear me ladies!!!  We've all heard it and it is so important.  Early detection is key!  Please for yourself and your family make this top priority in your health).  I had my yearly exam with my obgyn in May and had a breast exam then.  I hadn't done once since, but a month ago something prompted me to do one and that is when I discovered what I thought was maybe three lumps in my breast.  I think all of these and so many other things in my life even before all of these that I mentioned were all God's doing.  Leading me in certain directions in my life and all the while I thought it was just me.   I think we make choices in our lives so I'm not ready to say God is totally in control, but I believe something leads us to choices and we make a decision from there.  But, even in those choices we are probably helped along with a little nudge from God and unfortunately sometimes a little nudge from the devil.

So though I'm still figuring things out and it may be a long time before I figure things out I can at least see how faith can work in my life and it certainly gives me something to think about and obviously something to blog about. :)

"Faith, not fear."

{you gotta have a plan}

You have to have a plan when you set any goal. With no plan you set yourself up for failure and what is the purpose in setting a goal if your chances of success are cut short right from the start.  So with that being said, I have a plan for my "Go Against the Grain" goal and really it is a pretty simple one. 

• 5 CrossFit workouts/week


• 80% Paleo/Zone diet.  Minimal grain, legumes and dairy (this is where the 20% comes in)


• Three meals and two snacks/day


• Try new Paleo and Gluten-Free recipes and post at least one/week on here.  (I have a sissy camera so pictures may or may not be included.)


• Share recipes and links and blogs that support the healthy lifestyle I choose to live.


• Drink more water


• Look at my calendar on Sundays and plan my cheat meals for the week. 2-3/week.

But,  like any well laid plan sometimes it doesn't always go as planned.  So on those days I am going to put it behind me and jump back on the wagon.  There is nothing you can do about that empty bag of Boy Scout Chocolate Covered Caramel Corn once it is empty. ;) (If you ask me about this later I will feign ignorance!)  Put it behind you, be disciplined and pick right up where you left off.  There is no waiting for Monday to get back on track.  The next meal is where you get back on track.

Progress Report:  I stepped on the scale this morning so I know where I am starting at to track my progress.  Today was so-so.  I didn't eat as much as I should have, nor did I drink enough water.  I'm still not feeling 100% from my migraine yesterday and nothing sounded good and when I did eat it upset my stomach. :(  What I did eat fell in my 80% of good whole foods, so it could have been worse.  But I still have time to drink more water and get some rest before tomorrow's WOD.  I'm guessing I'll need it! (I just checked out tomorrow's WOD at CrossFit Flathead, "CrossFit Total". Yes, I will need the rest. Ugh!)

My workout felt great despite still having some slight side effects from the migraine.  I pulled the garbage can over by my rower just in case because the warmup didn't leave me feeling that confident that my protein shake would stay down.  But, stay down it did and "go down" went my 500m row times from February.  Total I took 54 seconds off my 4x500m row.  I'll take it and run, well, er, row????  So one day post-migraine+lack of sleep+lack of food+slightly dehydrated=PR.  I can't wait until I'm feeling 100%!  I don't recommend that little equation to success in the gym.  Today was a fluke, it rarely works in my favor.

So, what goals have you set for yourself?  Make them challenging, but at the same time they should be attainable.  Be disciplined and reach your goals.  You will be stronger in the end for it!

 "Without goals, and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination."  ~Fitzhugh Dodson

 

{lift like a girl}

So life at the gym continues after returning from regionals.  My first training cycle is awesome!!!  I just get to CrossFit, just do the WODs as Rx'd.  No Russian powerlifting cycles.  No two-a-days. No THREE-a-days.  No handstand pushups. No muscle ups.  No going balls-to-the-wall all the time.  I just get to CrossFit.  Ahhhhhh . . . To some this alone sounds like hell.  To me it is like a fresh breeze on a hot summer day.  I'm not saying it is easy in the gym, but it is a nice change of pace from the six months leading up to regionals.  It's a nice break for my body both mentally and physically.

Though I don't feel like I have to go all out, balls to the wall on the workouts I feel I am still working very hard and seeing some times on my MetCons that I am happy with.  I am still working on decreasing my rest time and continually remember two things I have been told regarding rest in a WOD. 

• "Rest when you are done!" ~ Coach Buf


• "I know you can't breathe, but nobody else can either!" Judge at regionals

Point taken.  Oxygen is overrated and I can catch up on my oxygen debt at a later time. 

My favorite part of being at the gym is working on my strength.  Though I'm not concentrating on gaining strength right now I am pushing myself.  I have missed our last two CrossFit totals so I really don't know what my 1RMs are.  On the books I know they are lower than what I can actually do so I'm pushing myself.  When calculating weights for various lifting days I pick a weight that I anticipate I can do in a 1RM or where I WANT TO BE.  It has been working well and I've been so excited to see my numbers.  A few weeks ago in a 5x5 front squat I did a sixth set and did 135 because 125 moved easily.  Last week 5x5 back squats, my last set was 185, 10# lighter than the last time I actually did a back squat for a PR.  This week.  Ahhh, this week.  This week was 5x5 deadlift.  My deadlift has been stuck at 225# for nearly 6 months and, honestly, it was downright pissing me off.  I pulled it five times in a 5x5, but have not been able to get even a 5# PR in any other workout.  So Tuesday we get a little treat of a 5x5.  I told Coach B that I WAS going to PR today so he let me do the lift a little bit differently than the rest of the class.  I started at one weight and added 10# for each set, ending with where I wanted to PR, 235#.  Well, I started pulling at 195 and low and behold I worked my way up to a 10# PR and pulled it 5 times!!!!!  It's about damn time!!!  So while I was so, so excited that I finally got a PR there is a downside to my story.  I tore up my back. :(  I strained my back muscles big time.  So, after a couple days rest, a couple trips to the chiropractor, some deep tissue massage, a tape job, a nice layer of BioFreeze and plenty of icing I'm on the mend.  I was able to do a very light workout today that still taxed my body a bit, but at the same time it loosened my muscles and helped me feel a bit normal.  The work felt good.  So after a nice three day weekend and some walking around with the fam I think I will be feeling pretty good by Tuesday and hopefully it will be fun and games as usual.  Well, except for deadlifts.  I think I will give deadlifts a break for a couple weeks.  Oh, and I think I will throw a massage in for good measure.  Okay, maybe that is just because I want one, but it will be good for my back, too!

Gaining strength is one of the best thing we, the female population, can do for ourselves.  It builds lean muscles & dense bones, it gives us heightened self-confidence, a sense of achievement when we meet our goals, and the list goes on and on!  So go forth ladies, fuel your bodies well, work hard, drink lots of water and

LIFT LIKE A GIRL!

{sectionals 2011}

Eleven months until the CrossFit North Central Sectionals. This time I have nearly a year to train instead of cramming it into five months. I feel like I am in a good place in my strength and conditioning heading into this year training. I am going to try to stay current on this blog and document my journey through this year. I am going to try to do well with my training diet (I do a Zoned Paleo of sorts. I am not strict with this because #1 I have a life & I‘m a busy mom of three #2 I enjoy some of my favorite foods every now and then, and #3 I have a life & I‘m a busy mom of three), I am going to cook more, try more Paleo recipes and share them on here, train hard everyday I am in the gym, I’m going to tighten up my Olympic lifting technique, I am going to read more about my sport and articles that support what I am doing, I’m going to rest and breathe later during workouts and I’m going to push past that last rep that I squeeze out and do two more.

I will probably vent and gripe on here at times, I will sing my praises at times, I will encourage all my likeminded readers to continue on their healthy eating/CrossFit path, I will moan about my soar muscles, etc., etc. Here is where I will lay it all out. If you choose to follow my journey I thank you for taking the time to peek into my world. I am very excited about what these next eleven months have in store for me.  P.S.  For this new year of adventures I changed my blog design . . . simple pleasures! :)

“Strength is Beauty”

 

{these are a few of my favorite things . . .}

I've decided that sometimes a non-thought provoking blog entry can be nice.  So here it is.  I actually stole this from my Facebook page so it really required very little thought this time. 

Things That Make Me Happy

~ text messages ~ painted toenails ~ orange spice tea ~ nonfat sugar free vanilla lattes double shot half the flavor ~ my kids telling me i am the best mom in the world ~ tony’s kisses ~ a good run or workout ~ a great haircut ~ perfect jeans ~ fun shoes ~ cuddling ~ long hugs ~ laughing ~ kenna's laugh ~ quiet time ~ the smell of the trees after it rains ~ tulips ~ genuine friends~ memories of my mom’s smile ~ finishing a sewing project ~ sewing myself something fun ~ receiving a fabric order ~ ordering online ~ my siblings ~ my dad’s generosity ~ crossfit ~ gno ~ roadtrips ~ the east side of Kalispell ~ trailrunning ~ new running shoes ~ fun workout clothes ~ visiting new places ~ cottages ~ sunshine and warm weather ~ cami tanktops ~ loungy pants ~ hot baths ~ days off when you should be working ~ healthy happy kids ~ dates with my husband ~ family nights ~ online chats ~ quotes that hit home ~ nice people ~ hockey games~ my computer ~ coffee with friends ~ meeting new people ~

{hello world}

Here I am world.  Inspired by a friend that blogs regularly.  I don't know that I will have anything exciting or important to say, but here I am nonetheless.

So this is me.  I'm a mom.  I'm a wife.  I'm a CrossFitter.  I'm a coach.  I'm a friend.  In the midst of all of that, I'm me.  Ask me who exactly "me" is I probably won't be able to tell you.  I take care of my family, can't seem to keep my house clean and sometimes have dinner done on time so my hubby doesn't have to pitch in.  I'm a wife that gets overwhelmed easily leaving my husband to just wait out my moods.  But, I'm a loving wife, married to the love of my life 16 years this past summer.  I CrossFit. I ditched the typical gym mentality that included elliptical trainers, lateral raises, lat pulldowns, bicep curls, etc. for a method of training that will drive your Global Gym into the ground.  But that is just my opinion.   I love my friends.  Online, local, friends from the past, friends that touch your soul, new friends, long-distance, reaquainted, like-minded, etc.  I don't get to spend near enough time with them.  Coffee, anyone?

So that's the beginning of my blog. Just introducing me to the world.