{when one door closes you make up your own}

I'm rolling right along on this little Whole 30/Paleo challenge thing. I have to say it has been pretty easy. The one thing I was mourning the loss of and so desperately wanted was a latte. A hot, creamy latte with perfectly brewed espresso from my coffee gals at my favorite coffee place. No skim milk, no sugar-free or sugary syrup. One packet of Vanilla flavored Stevia and my day is perfect. Mmmmm. But, no dairy allowed. One door closed. Monday, well, was just a Monday. It started with every Monday quality. A latte would have made it feel so much better. But, I survived day one without one. Victory is mine!! And then it started again the next day. Yikes!

Tuesday I had a frustrating, discouraging day. I had an appointment at the Hand and Lymphadema Therapy Clinic. The therapist went over in detail the risks of getting lymphadema due to the lymph nodes I had removed to be tested for cancer. I had four removed. Two were removed to be tested and then I had two in my breast that were removed when the breast tissue was removed. 12% of women have lymph nodes present in the breast, of course, I would. So instead of two I had four removed. The therapist said she would say this was really good. But, (seems there is always a "but") a person can have anywhere from about 20-75 lymph nodes in the underarm region and it isn't equal on both sides. So if I had 75 on that side losing four is no biggie, but if I only had 20 losing 4 is a biggie. So for the rest of my life I was given all kinds of things to do to prevent lyphadema. My breast surgeon said I would have no problem with this because of the small number removed, but I suppose it is a lymphadema therapists job to put the fear of God in you to do everything possible to prevent getting lymphadema. So there are "exercises" of sorts, body movements to keep the fluids flowing and moving through the body well and to redirect flow to other lymph nodes so as not to overtax the side with fewer lymph nodes. I was given exercises for my left had because it had 15 pounds of less strength than my right hand. I was also told how I should lift weights when my range of motion limitations are lifted at eight weeks post surgery. Ugh! The worst part about figuring out my recovery and getting my strength back in the gym is that all my doctors have no clue about CrossFit or the shape I was in prior to surgery. All recommendations pertain to general population which I believe is probably sedentary folks. If my beliefs are correct my body can do more than the general population. I was told to start with a 1-2 pound weight and move it up and down in super slow motion and take 1-2 months to slowly progress weight and to moving the weight at normal speed. She said " Do that with all your excercises (excluding legs and abs): lat pulldowns, tricep presses, bicep curls, etc." I don't do lat pulldowns. I don't do tricep presses or bicep curls. I have decided I can't do that. Yes, I get that I should do what my therapist says, but I strongly believe my time in CrossFit has prepared me for more than a super slow motion bicep curl with a one pound weight. I'm not going to go all crazy in the gym with a loaded up bar, but I am going to start doing my CrossFit moves. There won't be any dynamic moves, I will have to slowly work back up to that, but I am not taking one-two months to move the weight at normal speed. I will listen to my body and do what feels right. I have decided to leave my comeback in the gym up to my coach. He will get me where I need to be and he won't let me hurt myself or do anything I shouldn't. That was my day yesterday. I was frustrated and down. I am NOT a patient person and this year is going to be a huge test of my patience. I hate that I'm not patient and I try, but it isn't who I am. It is going to be a long year. The frustration comes so easily. I realized today that four weeks after I finally get the okay to go overhead and lift more than five pounds I will have surgery again and be out for another six weeks. More frustration. Blah. Soooo, this is why I really wanted a latte yesterday, but I didn't get one. I held strong to my foodie challenge, but decided I really needed to find some kind of coffee drink alternative. I don't care for straight coffee and I can't do creamer. Remember, no dairy. So yesterday I picked up some coconut milk and I made up my own yummy coffee drink. I frothed up some coconut milk with my little milk frother/whisker thingy, warmed it up, added hot coffee and some vanilla flavored stevia and presto! Coconut Milk Vanilla Latte that I found very satisfying. Yay for me! I think I'll be able to make my 30 days! Funny thing about the cocnut milk, my boy LOVES it. Hooray for no cow's milk in his body!

So, today is a kinda special day. Today I am one month cancer free!!! I decided to celebrate my day with me. :-) T had preschool and then my girlfriend takes him home with her after school on Wednesdays to spend the afternoon playing with her son. So I was childless for six hours. SIX HOURS! That is something a mom needs to take advantage of. So today I decided to skip the gym and take a break from my frustration with my workouts. I dropped my boy off at school, stopped by the gym (I know I tried to totally skip, but I didn't workout!) to quickly talk with my coach about a few things and then I went home for the day. No errands, no agenda, no "to-do" list. Okay, there is always a "to-do" list, but I ignored it today. First, I made myself my new coconut milk latte and then I went upstairs to my little sewing corner. I put Coffee House on Sirius Radio and closed my eyes and listened. Seriously, I closed my eyes and took just a moment to soak it all in. I closed my eyes while my hands were wrapped around my hot latte. I listened to the silence of my house while Norah Jones sang "Don't Know Why" and I took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. It was a perfect way to start my day with me and my sewing machine. I so needed today. The past couple days have been crazy busy with errands and kid's activities. It seriously sucks trying to recover from major surgery while still having to be mom. Neither cares about the other. It is hard and my body tells me when I have had a way to busy day. My chest starts to hurt and feels so raw and stings something fierce and I get so tired. Tony walked in yesterday and said, "You look pale." Yesterday morning after I had been up for only three hours I laid down and fell right to sleep. Like I said, I so needed today. It was wonderful. I can still close my eyes and bask in the luxuriousness of my day. I am so doing that more often on my childless Wednesdays. I need "me" time in order to function properly. "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" and that ain't no lie! It was a good one month celebration of being cancer free! Maybe I will do that every month for the next year. :)

Let me share how my sister-in-law said she would celebrate. We will be recreating this on a special occasion next time we are together. So I better eat spot on until then and then prepare for the food hangover. I like how she thinks! "I would probably celebrate with a large chocolate cake drizzled in carmel and fudge with cocunut on top of a hot chocolate chip cookie fresh out of oven with a side of homemade vanilla icecream. And u have to eat it all or the icecream melts and makes the cookie soggy." :-)

Today, I didn't really cook a specific Paleo recipe/meal. I didn't really cook at all. I guess cooking three nights in a row was a little bit of kitchen overload for me. But, we did have some burger thawed that needed to be cooked up so I browned it up with intentions of putting it in the fridge to mix in with eggs for a Joe's Omelette. What? You don't know what a Joe's omelette is? Yummo! I guess it is a little breakfast concoction that originated in San Francisco. Eggs, spinach, ground beef, garlic and parmesan or some other cheese depending on the restaurant. The recipe I linked to above doesn't have parmesan which makes it Paleo and how I will be eating them from now on. But, I digress. I had ground burger made up that didn't quite make it to the Joe's Omelette prep ingredients in the fridge. Tony made taco meat out of it and the kids had nachos with veggies on the side and I had a taco salad with grape tomatoes, salsa, avocado and grass-fed beef taco meat. I love me a taco salad and even survived without grated cheese on it.

What else did I eat today? Again, not as much as I maybe should have, but I'm okay with that. I'm not working out as much as I usually do, but hopefully I still ate enough good food for healing.

Breakfast: Two fried eggs, 2 links sausage (kind of gave me the heebie-jeebies), a clemantine orange, strawberries & a handful of pecans

Snack: 1/2 red pepper, some nuts (no protein, no bueno!)

Lunch: Steamed cauliflower drizzled with olive oil and a little sea salt, leftover rotisserie chicken, a handful of grape tomatoes

Snack: Cherry Pie Lara Bar, high quality (clean) roasted chicken deli meat

Dinner: Taco Salad

Snack: Three scrambled eggs with a bunch of mashed up steamed cauliflower

Water: Not enough, as usual. :(

I know I didn't have enough veggies today. I'll do better tomorrow. I promise!

I was going to post my recipe from dinner last night, but that will have to wait until tomorrow. It is midnight, I'm tired and I'm going to hit the sack! I'll post it tomorrow.