{gentlemen, start your engines}

On June 21st I had my six week appointment with my plastic surgeon and I was given the okay to workout with some lingering restrictions. No movements that specifically target my abs or chest, but I could go overhead. She said, no crunches (um, what are crunches?) and no bench press (um, we don't really bench press). So this has been the problem with tackling workouts in the gym through this process of recovering after both of my surgeries. Since we don't work out like you would in a typical gym it is hard to determine what exactly can I do? We do functional movements. We use our entire body. We usually don't target a specific muscle or muscle group unless it is a lift day, which isn't as often as a metcon day (metcon=metabolic conditioning). So I leave most of this problem solving up to my coach and I listen to my body. Coach said that to start with we are just going to work on getting my body moving again. I will be gaining strength at the same time, but I won't be working with heavy weight. I can't put a lot of weight overhead for a few more weeks, but I have lost so much upper body strength that I can't anyways so that isn't a problem. Just getting my body moving again and regaining flexibility is key. I have noticed that I have to remind all my body parts how to work together again. Box jumps feel clumsy. Double unders feel a little out of control. I've lost core strength so overhead squats and snatch work feels wobbly. Everything just has to learn to work together again.

So as of today I am finally back in the gym full on. I had a little teaser week of being able to workout before we went on vacation and we worked out a couple times while we were gone, but today I am back without interruptions. No long vacations coming up, no prior commitments, just time in the gym. My main goal for the next year is to regain my strength, get back to where I was before and actually aim higher than that. I want to be able to do the sectional workouts, PR on "Grace" and do "Amanda" straight up. "Amanda" is going to take awhile. I think she will be the last to get checked off my list. I'm not sure that the sectional workouts will happen next year, but that's okay. I will judge and count again. "Grace"...I think I will see that PR first.

So my journey back to before begins. Like I said I had a bit of a teaser before we left on vacation for about two weeks. Don't tell my surgeon, but I actually put in three workouts before she gave me the okay. I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to move my body and I was tired of watching workouts everyday in the gym. I needed to be a part of it again. I feel like for six months I have been left behind while everybody else moved forward. My legs ached from so little activity. My body is used to so much more. So, I went back three workouts early. Coach came over to me while I was warming up and said, "So, tell me what the doctor said." "Umm, well, I don't see her until Tuesday." :) I moved, used little weight and listened to my body for those three workouts and didn't hurt anything. After I was given the go ahead to start working out I sent my surgeon a message and asked her what exactly was being protected by not doing specific chest exercises. I asked so that we could better determine what I could and couldn't do in the gym. So she would understand what we do in the gym and how we workout I sent her the following video. It isn't our gym, but it was a great video showing CrossFit women doing what we do best.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8NXbnZMqdE&feature=related

Here was part of the response I got. :)

"Awesome! Even worse than I was afraid of :) Definitely yes to PT and massage now..... It will be 6 more weeks before you should be doing THAT kind of arm lifting/ chest workouts....if you even can--- it will take a number of months to build up again.... What happened to 10# dumbbells and water aerobics.....why don't you scrapbook and make some f-ing curtains like normal women ???? Just kidding....you're doing it all RIGHT!"

Well...said "normal" women and those 10# weights and water aerobics is why I haven't been able to find good information for coming back after a mastectomy and reconstruction for somebody who works out hard and was pretty darn strong when being diagnosed with breast cancer. I think I was stronger and more fit than the general population. From what I have read and was told, many women accept tightness, less strength and limitations as their new "normal". No thank you. This new "normal" isn't acceptable. I lost something when I was diagnosed with cancer, but it wasn't my ability to be strong again. To squat 235 again, to do "Fran" again at a pace that makes me want to puke, to run a 24:00 5K again, to do muscle ups again, to do whatever I want again. I won't accept the aftermath of a mastectomy and reconstruction as the end of my limits. I already know it is going to be a long journey with lots of hard work involved to get back to where I was before. But, I choose that journey because it is better than the purgatory of cancer and surgery that I have been in. I am finally at a point where I get to fully move forward. I am not waiting for the next surgery, my movements aren't really restricted, I don't have weight restrictions, my range of motion isn't limited. So move forward is exactly what I intend to do. I've been given the green flag and I'm going to run with it. I was going to say I plan to work until I come to the checkered flag, but you know what? I hope I never see that checkered flag because that signifies the end of the race and I don't plan to stop. Put a checkered flag on my grave, THAT is when I will stop working toward more for my body.

So, gentlemen, start your engines! The race is about to begin!