{nothing but love}

Have I mentioned lately how wonderful my gym is?  If you aren't working out at a CrossFit gym you are sorely missing out.  Wonderful things have been happening for me lately at our gym and because of our gym.  Here are just a few things that I want to share about our gym.  A bit random and varied, but all things with a common denominator.  CrossFit Flathead.

In addition to my wonderful family I am also blessed to have my CrossFit Flathead family that I spend time with four to five days/week.  This family starts with Coach B.  Coach B cares about each of his athletes and is at our gym for hours nearly everyday with one sole purpose, to make each of us stronger physically and mentally.  I have been fortunate enough to enjoy this first hand while I was training for our CrossFit Games Sectionals and Regionals competitions.  I spent many hours training with Coach B's perfect push and encouragement through countless workouts.  He pushes you when you don't think you can do one more rep or add five pounds for a new PR.  He knows what the human body is capable of and won't let you short yourself.  He was always in my ear hollering at me to get back on the bar to bust out all the pullups or pick the bar up to finish another set.  But, after I was diagnosed with breast cancer and even the couple of weeks leading up to my diagnosis while waiting for tests and results my coaching from him changed to give me exactly what I needed. 

First let me give you a little summary of how I feel at the gym and what makes me go most days of the week.  Physically I feel fine.  My body isn't in pain or hurting, but my soul and mental state is and that affects every part of my body.  My limbs feel like lead weights.  I'm not focused.  I'm distracted.  I don't really care about the workouts.  Sometimes, okay, many times I go only because I know I have to keep my body strong and I have limited workouts at my full strength before I start my long(ish) road of recovery.  Sometimes I go because I know I will just hole up in my house if I don't.  I go because I want to see these people who I have built friendships with that I have grown to love as my CF family.  Sometimes I go because I just want to see my CrossFit mom or I need a "Buf" hug.  How many of you get this from your gym????  You are missing out on something wonderful if you aren't at a place that fills you up like this or if you aren't experiencing this kind of community. 

So, this is how I have been feeling many days when it comes to the gym.  I really don't feel like going and moving.  My coach knows this.  Before he used to push me to keep going even when I didn't want to or if I put the bar down in the middle of a set, now I get gentle encouragement, a "great job" or he just lets me go through my workout.  When I broke down crying in the middle of a workout he came right over to me and got me to pick up the bar and stuck with me through most of the remainder of the workout so I would finish.  Just the other day when I showed up for "the" benchmark workout "Fran" he wrapped me up in a "Buf" hug and said he had been waiting for me all day and he knew I was going to get a PR.  I told him I didn't think today was the day because I had been crying off and on all day.  He just said, "Ok, we're just going to move and get through the workout."  For the first time since I joined CrossFit I quit a workout.  I have got to a point in workouts where I have  said, "I can't do this" and he would say something like, "Yes, you can!  Pick up the bar and go!"  Not on "Fran" Friday.  I dropped the bar in my second set of thrusters, started to tear up and said, "I just can't do this today" and for the first time ever in my time at CrossFit Coach B said, "Ok.  Do a couple of front squats and some pullups."  I was just given the permission to quit a workout and of all workouts "Fran".  Somehow being given the permission to quit by my coach didn't seem right.  At the exact same time this thought went through my head, "I am not going to let this damn cancer make me quit my first WOD ever."  I picked up the bar and kept picking away at it.  It was slow and not pretty.  I stopped in the middle of my workout to cheer Tony on.  I added 2:15 to my "Fran" PR (personal record).  BUT, I finished it and didn't quit.  I was okay with that.  I told a friend that took 1:00 off her time that I took one of her minutes for her.  I took one for the team. :-)  I'm okay with that. 

Tangent....Taking One for the Team...

Maybe I'm taking one for the team getting breast cancer.  Making my friends and family aware that this breast cancer thing is real and it doesn't discriminate due to age, health, fitness level or lack of risk factors.  I have no risk factors for breast cancer and actually have many things playing in my favor to NOT get breast cancer.  Cancer doesn't care.  You HAVE to be an advocate of your own health.  Make it top priority.  Ladies, do your monthly self breast exams.  Get to know your breasts and what your normal feels like. Pay attention and don't be afraid to have something suspicious checked out.  Follow your instinct.  Us ladies are good at that. I was told by my doctor that he was 99.9% sure there was no breast cancer and he would be shocked if the mammogram showed anything.  Prepare for the worst and hope for the best.  I don't think this is a "glass half empty" way of thinking.  I think it is realistic.  It could be nothing, but it could be something.  You have to be ready, or as ready as you can be, for good or bad news, because you don't know.  You can be positive and know that whatever comes your way you will handle it and take care of it the best way you can because that is all you can do. 

Sorry about the tangent, onto more wonderful things at CrossFit. :-)  Last week Tony told me to wear my favorite workout clothes to the gym for our Saturday morning workout out. Huh?  He said, "That's all I'm going to say."  Hmmmm, no idea what that was about.  So Saturday rolls around and our friend who is a chiropractor joined us at the gym to set up his table to give our athletes some chiropractic care after the workout if they were interested.  He did this several weeks ago so I thought nothing of it.  Well, before the workout he came up to me and said, "My sister-in-law who is a photographer is coming to take pictures of you working out so you have pictures before your surgery." OMGoodness!  How cool is that?!  It was so fun.  A little weird at times knowing somebody is following you around taking your pic while sometimes doing moves and lifts just so she can get some pictures (I wish I would have remembered to swing a kettlebell! I always like KB pics), but it was fun and I partnered with Tony for the WOD so we will have pics of us working out together.  I was even able to bust out a muscle up after the WOD for a pic.  Not pretty, as usual, but I got one.  I want to thank P for thinking of doing this for me.  It was so thoughtful and I appreciate it so much.  A huge thank you to M for taking the pics.  I can't wait to see them and we need to get both of them into the gym to workout with us! :-)

Last, but not least.  Yesterday morning Tony asked me if I had looked at the CrossFit Flathead site yet.  I said, "No.  Will it make me cry?"  He replied, "I did."  So I clicked on my link to CrossFit Flathead for Sunday, the 30th and this is what I found.  I read it, teared up and read it again.  I don't know if I can even explain exactly what I felt when I  read it...all I can say is I am SO incredibly blessed to be a part of this community.  If you look in the comments you will see it isn't just our community here at CrossFit Flathead.  I was sent prayers from Crossfit Daholenga in Georgia!  This is what CrossFit is about!  It is about the people, the community, being a part of something bigger than you.  Seriously, it leaves me speechless.  It is awesome.  Again, I am SO blessed.  Thank you, thank you, thank you everybody, for all you do.

I am humbled everyday by the people around me, by the love and generosity of these people.  In and out of the gym.  I have said this before and I will say this again.  I know how amazing my friends and family are, but the amazingness (that's a word, right?!) that I have witnessed the past two months leaves me forever thankful to each and every one of you.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you.

Today I want to give a special shout out and thank you to my friend, R, from the gym.  She showed up at my house yesterday to help me clean for nearly three hours!  She even tackled the top of our fridge AND the oven.  That is true friendship!  :-) Thanks, again!!!